Money Aint A Thang: 7 Professions & Business Ventures Jay-Z Should Tackle Next

NBA Coach
Coach Carter

No, Jay-Z doesn’t have any coaching or basketball experience. But he does have experience managing egos, and that’s half the battle, right? In fact, we could see Hov stalking the sideline for the Miami Heat next season, drawing up intricate game winning plays calling timeouts, throwing up the Roc and giving dap to the players and ish like that. Ballin!’

Run for Mayor
Chief Magistrate Hov

Hey, he brought the Nets to Brooklyn. That’s a huge infrastructural business move. Plus the white folks love Jay like Paula Deen loves calling black folks n#gger. Sheeit, let Jay run for office. Fduck ‘round and run this town.

Talk Show Host
Late Nights With Jigga, My Nicca

Hov and a cup of Joe, shooting the sheit with your favorite entertainers, could there be a better night cap on late night TV? Maybe even start off each show with a freestyle or an untold story from the height of the Roc-A-Fella days. Catch up Fallon!

Circus Ring Master
Big Top Hov (pause)

Jay has encountered plenty of clowns and worked with a number of elephants in the room during his 20-year-rap career. Why not start a circus? Imagine Jay coming out with a Gucci bucket instead of a top hat, you know, introducing acts and ish with that signature Jay-Z gab. He could have video vixens dancing to his greatest hits between acts. You frontin’ but you’d love it though.

Open Roc-A-Fella Amusement Park
Roc Nations

Hov could tear down Coney Island amusement park and build, Roc Nations, a Roc-A-Fella related theme park. Surely some of those struggle rappers that were signed to the label could use some gigs running rides and selling popcorn, funnel cakes and ish like that. They could have Roc-A-Fella themed attractions like the Bleek’s You’re One Hit Away Gopher Smash, Dame’s Screaming Tower of Terror and the Super Head Train To The Stars. How many yall gonna ride tonight?

Cop a Film Studio
Jay Scorsese

Jay-Z has played in a few sh!tty flicks, including Streets Is Watching and State Property. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know a good flick. Why not cop a film studio, ala Tyler Perry, but instead put out good movies. This aint a movie dog.

Start A Line of Blue Ivy Dolls
Kind of Blue (Ivy)

Why cop your daughter a Barbie doll when you can get the brand new Kind of Blue Ivy joint, complete with baby Timb boots and Blues Brothers Gucci Shades? Maybe make her yell out, “Who run the world, girls,” or “It’s the Roc” by the push of a button. No comb included. It’s just different.