15 Beyoncé Album Lyrics That Will Make You Want To Buy Condoms

In case you didn’t get the memo, Beyoncé has put a stronghold on the music industry with her latest self-titled visual album. which dropped in the middle of the night on December 13.

We at Hip-Hop Wired waited for a bit of the shock and hoopla revolving around the album’s strategic unveiling and gave it a critical ear.

Our findings allowed us to believe that Queen Bey wanted to make a bold statement on to how sexual driven she really is. Most of the lyrical content is pretty much NC-17. Only her highness could drop an album that sounds like this and scoff at the thought of a parental advisory label.

Like every artist before her who gained a youth following in her career, the change in Beyoncé was inevitable. But no one in their wildest dreams would ever expect fellatio and explicit orgasms references in her music.

Then again, no one expected her to drop an album this year, either. Cop the album on iTunes and read up on 15 X-Rated Beyoncé album lyrics that will make you feel a little bit frisky.

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Photo: YouTube

Song: “Partition”

“Driver roll up the partition please/I don’t need you seeing ‘Yonce on her knees…”

What We Say: That would indeed to be a sight to see, however.

Song: “Yoncé”

“I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker/Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor…”

What We Say: Very tasteful, Mrs. Knowles-Carter.

Song: “Drunk In Love”

“New sheets, he sweat it out like washed rags, he wet it up/Boy, I’m drinking/I’m singing on the mic ’til my voice hoarse/Then I fill the tub up halfway then ride it with my surfboard…surfboard…surfboard…”

What We Say: We knew the Carters were into watersports but not like this.

Song: “Jealous”

“I’m in my penthouse half-naked/I cooked this meal for you naked…”

What We Say: Queen Bey has no fear of grease burns whatsoever.

Song: “Partition”

“Ride up to the show with the music blasting/He like to call me ‘Peaches’ when we get this nasty/Red wine drip, talk that trash/Chauffeur eavesdropping trying not to crash…”

What We Say: Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie used to make this movie all the time.

Song: “Haunted”

“You want me? I walk down the hallway/You’re lucky…the bedroom’s my runway/Slap me!/I’m pinned to the doorway/Kiss…bite…foreplay…”

What We Say: There’s only one way to keep the passion alive in a marriage and this is it.

Song: “Blow”

“You like it wet and so do I (You like it wet and so do I)/I know you never waste a drip/(I know you never waste a drip)”

What We Say: Lubrication is an important process where calibration is desired.

Song: “Rocket”

“Punish me…please/Daddy what you gon’ do with all this…ass/All up in your face?

What We Say: She gave us prophecy on her first joint but we all lamed out. Now the freak is here to stay.

Song: “No Angel

“First go through my legs, go back on your head/And whatever you want, yeah baby I’ll bet…it comes true.”

What We Say: Which is why the world was blessed with Blue Ivy.

Song: “Blow”

“Can you lick my skittles/That’s the sweetest in the middle/Pink that’s the flavor/Solve the riddle”

What We Say: Even The 40-Year-Old Virgin could crack this code.

Song: “Rocket”

“Hold me ’til I scream for air to breathe/And wash me over until my well runs dry/Send all your sins all over me babe, over me…Rock it ’til waterfalls…”

What We Say: So Beyoncé is part Amazonian? Good to know.

Song: “Drunken Love”

“Foreplay in a foyer, fucked up my Warhol/Slid the panties right to the side/Ain’t got the time to take drawers off/On sight.”

What We Say: Blue Ivy is going to faint when she’s old enough to comprehend this record in its entirety.

Song: “Partition”

“He popped all my buttons and he ripped my blouse/He Monica Lewinsky-ed all on my gown/Oh there daddy-daddy didn’t bring the towel/Oh baby-baby we slow it down…”

What We Say: Shame on these presidents and their bad aim.

Song: “Blow”

“I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can tear that cherry out, (Turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out)

What We Say: Jay’s currently on tour, so…yeah.