6 Jobs Mitt Romney Can Hold Down Since Losing The Election

As the week comes to a close Mitt Romney is probably breathing a heavy sigh of relief, because he doesn’t have to do the political dance only to lose (another) bid for president.

Over the last year, Romney went from not being favored by his own party, to the front-runner to bring the presidency back to the Republican side of life. After one impressive showing against Obama during their first debate, the 65-year-old may have gotten a little comfortable riding high on the victory, as he slowly closed the gap between winning and losing.

By Election Day, Romney’s chances were split right down the middle. Both he and the president held small leads in several voting polls, and with the margin of error, there was a strong possibility that they were actually tied in many of the bouts. Failing to connect with minority voters, and putting all his eggs in the basket of “likely voters” (who are assumed to be mostly of a certain skin color), Romney was so confident in his chances that he penned an 1,118-word victory speech. “At this point, I’ve only written one speech,” he proclaimed to reporters aboard his campaign plane.

We all know what happened by night’s end. Romney was defeated in electoral votes, Karl Rove’s head nearly exploded, Donald Trump’s comb-over stood at attention in disbelief, and Saturday Knight Live alum Victory Jackson announced that “America died.”

Gracious loser that he is, Romney had no worries. He spoke with President Obama, gave a concession speech and kicked rocks.

With all the extra downtime on his hands, here are some other jobs he could pick up.

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Tax Consultant

He may not know exactly how much he paid, but Romney knows taxes. Making more than $10 million and only shelling out roughly 13 percent of his earnings to Uncle Sam was a Supreme Jedi move.

Pen Obama’s Thank You Notes To The “47 Percent”

The “47 percent” is on Romney’s sh-t list for doing exactly what he said they would: vote for President Obama. Even though he rocks with the “1 percent,” maybe he could turn a negative into a positive by writing thank you notes to everybody else for the president.

Binder Organizer

What with all those binders full of women that he had in his possession as governor, Romney should turn his organization skills into his next paying gig.

Pre-mature Victory Speech Writer

The world may never know exactly what was in that 1,000 + word victory speech of his, but it probably included a prolific amount of GOP struggle. That takes skill.

Teach Classes On How To Lose A Presidential Bid…Twice

Romney takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin.’ He ran for president in the 2008 race and it didn’t work out too well, so what did he do? He picked himself off, brushed the dirt off his shoulder, ran again… and lost. At this point, he should really just teach a class.

Help Stacey Dash Find Her Brain

Stacey Dash’s decision to support Romney was more self-indulged than anything else. She’s entitled to her own opinion, but posing for a Baywatch-themed election photoshoot after years of not being relevant was a suspect move. Also, there’s a pretty good chance that her endorsement didn’t’ help Romney’s fight.