It hasn’t been a full seven days yet, but the journalists aboard the Rihanna plane have had enough. We already reported on a naked uprising (no pun) courtesy of a possibly delirious Australian writer, but there are far more amusing tales from the plane, thanks to a few crafty wordsmiths.
Looking back, what seemed to have all the right ingredients of an amazing world-wide trek quickly turned into a hostage-style situation, with no Wi-Fi— in certain areas.
From Billboard, to Spin, to Gawker, recounts of exactly what’s going down aboard that plane, are disheartening, hilarious and ironic. Anyone would jump at the chance to be carted around the globe with Rihanna for free, but adding nearly 200 others sounds far from amazing.
Things started off so lovely, almost in the vein of the children from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, who found golden tickets hidden inside their Wonka bars….then it got awkward. The inhabitants of that plane aren’t experiencing the traces of nostalgia made apparent on their pre-flight Twitter, Instagram and Facebook messages. Instead the passengers and crew above the aircraft now have an aerial experience that the rest of us will never truly understand.
Because we here at Hip-Hop Wired hold our journalistic brethren in high esteem, peep five snippets of the best reviews from the Rihanna plane, thus far.
Keep your head up Rihannaplane 150, we hear you loud and clear.
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Photos: Getty/Wire Image
“Drained from mentally creating a blueprint of the 777 Tour the day prior (Nov. 18), we tumbled into nihilism.” –Erika Ramirez, Billboard.
**Editor’s note: the lady circled in the photo is not Ramirez, we’re just wondering how long she held that death stare.
“After that first, coruscating appearance, Rihanna was gone. And I do mean gone. I hesitate to say that she looked visibly drunk or generally ‘on some of the hard sh-t’ during her performances, so let me just say that we came to expect a three hour delay before she went on every night.” – Anonymous, for Gawker.
“Shortly after the plane took off, everyone in coach lost their collective minds simultaneously. Psychologists will study the footage for years to come. ” – Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, Spin.com
