10 Nicki Minaj Pics That Feature An Out Of Place Safaree

Okay, so where is the first place Safaree shouldn’t be? VIP. That’s a joke, but so is the fact that he’s standing at the ledge of that balcony like he’s Evita or something. Fans are probably downstairs in coach, waving up at Nicki, and he’s standing there with that chandelier around his neck, waving at them like they know who he is.  Have a seat and enjoy the free bottle, Scaff Beezy. Nicki’s got this.

What the hell is going on here? First of all, this looks like Nicki is having the worst time of her life, and Safaree has the “raging” face on. In fact, Nicki looks terrified and is practically jumping out of her limo. She’s so shocked she forgot to zip up her Louis Vuitton Damier Speedy behind her. Unless of course that’s Safaree’s? It makes sense if it is, because it goes so well with that gong around his neck. Bottom line: you should not be in the limo of a superstar, looking like you’re having a better time than she is.

Important Guy: So Nicki, that patchwork hat you’re wearing…is it from your grandmother’s quilt or the curtains at the W Hotel in Union Square? Safaree: Oh this red hat? It’s from Sports Authority! Important Guy: Nicki, how long does it take you to straighten that lovely blond wig? Safaree: Oh shout out to my barber cliff in Flushing. He hooks me up every time I go in. This one time I went and he was like “Yo Scaff! I saw you in VIP wearing that chandelier” and I was like word, let me get a fade though.

This is totally unacceptable. Why is this man seated beside her like he’s the Ashford to her Simpson? What’s really good here? Nicki is at an album signing. You know, signing copies of her album? And here Safaree is next to her, acting like he’s actually Roman Zolanski. Come on guys, this is getting to be a bit much. Besides, the only time you probably actually see Safaree’s name in the liner notes, and it’s probably in Nicki’s Thank You’s. BUT WHAT IS SHE THANKING HIM FOR??

It looks like Nicki is heading somewhere – like on a plane. And there’s Safaree next to her with his Louis Vuitton backpack like he’s Kanye West in 2004. He’s all, “Where to, Nick? I hope not Bora Bora again! That place is so broke!” Even the lady behind them is staring like, “Oh look it’s Nicki Minaj and her butler.” Safaree’s passport probably has just as many stamps as Nicki Minaj’s passport. That’s a problem, guys.

This photo was taken at Nicki Minaj’s birthday party at TAO in Las Vegas. Nicki probably just showed up to the red carpet and hit the step and repeat. So explain why Safaree is in the photo dressed all casual, wearing a t-shirt and a chain with PINK diamonds? It’s not your birthday, dude. And don’t be pointing to Nicki like you’re making her official. This is just all sorts of wrong.

Later that evening, Nicki Minaj gets a birthday cake in the shape of a pink Barbzmobile. Front and center are Safaree and fellow “almost famous” OG Amber Rose. Safaree is eyeballing that cake looking for his name on it. He’s also waiting for the appropriate time to blow out the candles. Either that or he thinks that’s a nicer car than the one Nicki bought him and he’s plotting to drive it right off the table, lit candles and all. Somebody tell him it’s a cake before he burns himself.

So here’s another place Safaree doesn’t need to be: on stage. Nicki is like primed to either perform or self-combust, and he’s standing there waiting to ad-lib whatever option she chooses. He has that “Nicki, is it my turn yet?” look on his face too. It’s like, stop it, man. Just, stop it! This is kind of like when Lil’ Kim brought Lil’ Cease everywhere, or when Foxy Brown always had Pretty Boy on stage. You see how well that worked out for them, right?

Ugh, more on stage madness. He’s pointing at her like, “I’m Safaree! And here’s my hype woman, Nicki!!” She’s got a look on her face, like “Hypewoman?!?” That’s probably the exact opposite of what happened in this particular moment, but it’s fun to pretend. It’s also fun to pretend that you’re famous, like what Safaree does every time he gets on that stage while Nicki Minaj is performing.

So Safaree gets to go to the MTV Movie Awards and wears a police badge around his neck? Oh ok. We get it, Nicki. You like having Safaree around. Whether he’s your man, your “play cousin,” your assistant, whoever, he doesn’t always have to be posted up next to you. It’s nice to keep your squad close by, but the bigger you get, the worse he looks standing next to you. It’s not fair to anyone involved. Especially us.