C00n Affiliated: 10 Rap Songs That Set African-Americans Back As A Race

The truth is, rap music has its good, bad and ugly. Good being those feel great tunes with a positive message and substance. Bad being music that may not appeal to the masses but is entertaining in its own right. And ugly being that ish that you wish never made it outside of the delusional rapper who made its thought process. Especially if you are a self respecting African-American.

We are not talking about the run of the mill Southern dance track or exorbitant East Coast party record. We are talking about the music that is so c00nish that it leaves people wondering if the rapper who made it has ever heard of the Civil Rights movement, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, minstrel shows, slavery or at least seen 30 minutes of Roots. [Editor’s Note: Bamboozled, too.]

Hide your kids, hide your white boss/co-workers. Here are 10 songs – that made it to the mainstream – that most black folks wish other condescending races never knew existed…

(Make your own list in the comments section)

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Photo: Plies

“MyBabyDaddy” – B-Rock and The Biz
This song probably has the sad significance of cementing the phrase “baby daddy” into the mainstream vernacular. Besides letting the world know that black people can’t formulate a proper sentence, the video also showed that we like to deny fathering kids and dance around doing jigs while doing it.

Embarrassing Bar: (Man) “Who that is?!? (Woman) That’s just my baby daddy.” 8x
Co0n-O-Meter: 8

“Your Momma’s On Crack Rock” – The Dogs

Okay, okay, we know we added this song into our list of Anti Drug PSAs, but that was on some glass half full ish. On some glass half empty ish, this is some of the saddest ish in Hip-Hop history. Just a little reminder to let the world know that all Black women are zombied out on that glass Richard, and that their crack baby children know about it.

Embarrassing Bar: (Little kids in unison) “Your momma’s on crack rock.” (Girl’s rebuttal) “That’s your trickin’ momma!”

Co0n-O-Meter: 7

“Chickenhead” – Project Pat ft. Three 6 Mafia & La Chat

The song’s title has the word “chicken” in it, so yeah, it’s already starting off on a bad note. Then raunchy the lyrics and even raunchier video go hard to keep up the stereotype that black women are money hungry unfit mothers and young black males are self absorbed misfits.

Embarrassing Bar: (La Chat) “I thought you said you had your girl on the light bill?” (Project Pat) “Always in my face, talking this and that. Girl, I had to get some rims for the Cadillac.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 9

“Baby Mama” – Three 6 Mafia ft. La Chat

Continuing in the “I fathered children and now don’t want to take care of them,” theme, Three 6 helps perpetuate the stereotype that for Blacks having children is nothing more than a ritual in busting a nut and collecting a check.

Embarrassing Bar: “Pay you Gs? I’ll pay you quarters. I’ll just wait for court to order. Mexico is where you’ll find me, somewhere ‘round the fuxing boarder.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 8

“First Of the Month” – Bone Thugz N Harmony

We can’t front. This song is a classic. One might even let his or her white co-worker listen to it telling them how it was their jam coming up. That is, if you want said co-worker to think all Black people sit around doing nothing all month and collect a welfare check on the 1st (provided by their tax dollars) and use it to go buy crack, kush and beer.

Embarrassing Bar: “It’s the first of the month. And now we are smoking, choking, rolling blunts and sipping on 40 ounces.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 8

“Because I Got High” – Afroman

Surely, this song had a lot of brothers with brown lips getting turned down for employment in the early 2000’s. A nicca wit a Dr J afro named Afroman talking about nothing but getting high, with chickens, 40 ounces and scantily dressed women dancing around in the video. Who hired this nicca to make this song, the K-lan?

Embarrassing Bar: “I was gonna go to court before I got high. I was gonna to pay my child support, but then I got high.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 9

“Chicken Noodle Soup” – DJ Webstar and Young B Again, having the word chicken in your title is never a good look. But when you add a dance that looks eerily similar to the jigs performed at minstrel shows, you have a recipe for complete co0nery.

Embarrassing Bar: “Chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 9

“Pants Hang Low” – Plies

We get it. This was supposed to be the rally cry against the proposed “No Sagging” law that would probably cause racial profiling in the Black community. But, bruh bruh, no. You and all the rest of these young punks, pull your fuxing pants up. Stop making Black folks look like got damb fools.

Embarrassing Bar: “I let my pants hang low. I’m from the hood and that how ish go.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 6

“That Baby Don’t Look Like Me” – Shawty Put ft. Lil Jon & Too Short

If you haven’t already gotten it yet, the themes here too often are Black men give no f-cks about their kids. And neither do Black women, all they want is a check. Thanks, Shawty Put for reinforcing this false mind set.

Embarrassing Bar: “That baby aint mine, it must be his. Everybody know she lying. F-ck that b-tch.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 8

“Get Smoked” – Lil Mouse
What kind of third world azz ish is this?!? We elected a Black President four years ago, and a kid who just grew his first pubic hair is rapping about getting head and killing people. And some adult actually sponsored this. We got a long way to go, people.

Embarrassing Bar: (From the mouth of a 13-year-old) “I’m a gangsta ninja I can do this ish my f#cking self. This ish hit his melon, it aint gone be nothing left.”

Co0n-O-Meter: 8

BONUS:

“Chain Hang Low” – Jibbs

This is what happens when you don’t have any elders in your circle. The song that the St. Louis rapper swiped the “CHL” melody from is actually a minstrel show mainstay entitled “Zip Co0n” or “Turkey In The Straw,” depending on the lyrics. It was only later changed to the children’s song “Ears Hang Low.”

Embarrassing Bar: You heard the damn song.

Co0n-O-Meter: 9